Monday, December 8, 2014

December 8, 2014

My dear Lily, every year on December 8th I buy pink lilies for you. And for me, because they are my favorite flowers, after all. And this is the way I remember you. The world doesn't have any way to remember birth certificate, no photos, no headstone....nothing. But I remember!!

The flowers are beautiful. They give me something I like remembering. To tell the truth, I try to forget about that awful night 6 years ago when we had to say goodbye. I try not to remember the trip to the ER, that finals week, or all the things I hated about Christmas that year. There are a lot of things I try to forget. But you, my beautiful girl, I won't forget.

Today is a hard day. I miss you so much. I hope Grandpa Fred shared the hugs we gave him in his last hours on earth last week. I hope you are surrounded by a lot of people who love you today. I know I am cherishing every hug and snuggle I get today. It's not really like being able to hold you, but each one does seem to heal my heart, even if it's just a tiny bit at a time. I love you, Lillian Jane. I hope you have a day filled with love and peace and plenty of hugs from people who love love you.